If you are reading this
article, it means that on some level, you are thinking about venturing back out
into the world of dating after a loss, a divorce or a break up. Whether you
realize it or not, this is a huge step forward and unfortunately, not enough
people (possibly including you) recognize this as one of the "big
moments" that it really is. You need to be very proud of yourself.
However, returning to dating (especially if you
have been out of the "field" for awhile) carries with it a potential
minefield of pitfalls that you will want to make sure to avoid. The following
are common faux pas, blunders and missteps that many make and that you will
want to steer clear of, particularly when you are in the early stages of dating
someone new:
For
the Ladies
Don't dress overly provocatively on the first
date. I personally love to push fashion envelopes and take every opportunity to
do so, but only at the appropriate time -- and when I was dating, that
"appropriate time" would not be on the very first date. When choosing
that super-important outfit for a first date, ask yourself, "What
kind of message do I want to send?" Wearing something cute and
on-trend that shows you off in a flattering way will get you sincere compliments;
wearing something that reveals too much can get you into a sincere wrestling
match. In other words, don't work the séxy too soon.
For
the Gentlemen
Guys, I am going to share
a secret with you: Women truly appreciate a man who knows how to dress. It
shows that you care about what she thinks and that you care about the
impression that you want to make. I realize that many of you prefer to be
casual, but you do not want to be toocasual. Now, you obviously do
not have to wear a suit to a coffee date at the beach, but nice jeans and a
shirt on a movie date will be appreciated far more than shorts and flip-flops.
Consider the venue that you are going to and use your good judgment -- we
really are paying attention.
For
Everyone
Don't
go anywhere too "romantic": Restaurants lit only by candlelight, servers in tuxedos and
strolling violinists are great -- for the tenth date. For a first date? That
is way too much pressure on both you and your wallets. Keep
the first date "light" -- a coffee date, a lunch date or a casual
dinner are all great ideas.
Don't talk about
yourself too much: There should be a
comfortable conversation going on and conversing takes two people. If you feel
like you are talking too much, your date likely feels the same way. Segue by
saying, "That's enough about me, let's talk more about
you..." and then follow with a question about them.
Don't over-imbibe: Aside from obvious drinking-and-driving concerns,
too much alcohol lowers inhibitions and pretty much eliminates common sense.
You don't want to say -- or do -- something that you will regret the following
day. Limit yourself to two cocktails and then switch to non-alcoholic drinks.
Avoid
the Biggest First-Date Taboo of Them All...
No matter how attracted
you are to someone; no matter how great the date is going or how beautifully
you are getting along -- do not have séx on the first date.
Moreover, if someone is trying to pressure you into a séxual situation after
knowing you all of two hours...run out the door (and think twice
before ever going out with them again!). The only thing that a wonderful first
date should lead to is a second date...not breakfast in bed the following
morning.
Source: Huffington Post
No comments:
Post a Comment