The woman you sleep with gazes into your
eyes and tells you she loves you. And you believe her. You can tell by the way
she looks at you, the way she holds you, the way she seems to always know what
you want before you do. There are a couple of
things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them. But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll
never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only
hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets
of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest
secrets that don't—and never will—include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.
1. My Best Friend Knows Everything
My best friend knows
everything. She knows all of your vitals—from the size of your bank account to
the size penis—and she knows how both compare with those of every other man
I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge
size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you
knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows,
and deal with it.
2. I Lie About My Number
I'll never tell you
exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I
answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline,
when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer
to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a whore),
but mostly it's séxual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter
never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common
excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual séx lasted only a few
thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
3. I Fantasized About You
I fantasized about being
with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
4. I Compare You to My Exes
I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly
you win. Sometimes not.
5. I Always Need Extra Time
When I say, "I'm
ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat
the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
6. You've Made Me Cry
You've made me cry more
times than you'll ever know.
7. I Like When You Call
I obsess about when you're
going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your
"Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems
stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even
if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me.
8. I Want You to Talk a Little Dirty
I want you to talk a
little dirty in bed.
9. I'm Constantly Testing You
I'm constantly testing
you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and
facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean
it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this
conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with
another woman when I have you?"
10. I Need to Know You Want Me
I need constant
indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to
say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with
me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"
Source: MensHealth
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